Feed on His Faithfulness

My head has been kind of spinning the past few days, trying to get a grip on life. I realized that I really have no idea what the future holds. I know I'm a little late in realizing this... none of us have ever known, and none of us ever will. It just kind of hit me. But eventually I realized it is when I "have a grip" on life that I think I don't need to depend on God. I turn to myself, or to other people, but don't go to Him for strength.

But I need Him. Even when I think I don't, I do. And that's not me saying that to sound like a "good Christian" or something... it's the truth! And honestly, instead of that bringing fear or anxiety of the unknown, a calm, refreshing peace washes over me when I realize and accept that truth. Because then I don't have to have it all under control. He already does. He did, He does, and He will. What a relief! It is things like this that I keep learning about His character where I can't stop falling in love with Him.

He can already see the big picture. He knows. Worrying about it doesn't help me in any way... it only keeps me from living fully in every moment, soaked in His presence, eyes, ears, and heart open wide to take in all He has to teach me.

A verse I've been clinging to is Psalm 37:3- Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Every section of this verse has a deep meaning for me now- I feel like it sums up what I need to do right now (and every day the rest of my life...).
Trust in the Lord- with why I am here, with the future, with my dreams
Do good- help in any way I can, even if it is small
Dwell in the land- kind of like Jeremiah 29, live intentionally right where I am, in the present
Feed on His faithfulness- let His faithfulness and who He is wash over me and be my strength

I hope I never become numb to how amazing God is or not be excited about who He is and all He's done...I want to be amazed by Him every day. He is so good. I wish I could give Him a giant bear hug! What a champ.

After the reservation trip (I'm still working on writing about that...) I came back and had a day off where I played with Joel and Ian, the 6 and 3 year old sons of the missionaries I'm living with. These two have given me so much joy! We went swimming in the creek, played with their parrot (which bit me on the toe!), made a few videos, and just had fun together. Since then, I've been homeschooling Joel  and helping out around the house.

We all went to Quepos (meaning Cynthia, Josiah, their kids, Adilia, and I), which is a touristy town along the Pacific ocean, 6 hours away from here. Cynthia and Josiah had a missionary conference, and Adilia and I went along for what we called "a beautiful adventure." It was so exciting! I got to see a whole bunch of the country, and it's always fun to spend a few days at the beach:) I had a great time with Joel, Ian, and Adilia, because when you're with kids, you can act like them, which gives the beach a whole new (and more exciting) appeal.  Those few days consisted of sand fights, wave jumping, running through the water, and smiles. It was Adelia's first time at the beach, which was exciting, too!

Basically, a few days after I arrived ready to work, I left for vacation. But I'm not complaining! :)

I also went to a... strike? I'm not sure what to call it. A bunch of people from Jicotea (meaning about 50) got together to try and get the bus to come to the station that it is supposed to go to. It hasn't been going because "the road is too bad" (although, I can see why that would cause problems...), but this creates a big problem for the people who depend on the bus to go to work every day. So I'm pretty sure I was on the national news on Friday. No big deal :)

I've been able to practice my Spanish a lot, too. That's how Adilia and I communicate, as well as all of the other people that live and work around here. Cynthia also helps me. I am learning to let go of my pride as I continue to learn... although it is a bit difficult, and I normally end up with a red face after trying to speak. :) So far, while trying to talk and have a conversation, I've said a few interesting things...

"My men are red."
"I took tourists in the trash."
"The 40th of October."
"That hotel is delicious."
And many, many more...

So the past week or so has been interesting! Although I didn't have much of an idea of what I would  be doing in Jicotea, this week has been different than anything I imagined, but in a good way. I'm not exactly sure why God called me back here, or what I'm doing here. If you asked me before I left for Costa Rica why I was going or what I was doing, I probably would have said something along the lines of going to learn Spanish and serve with a ministry that works with the indigenous people of Costa Rica. But really, I'm here because this is where God led me, and I am realizing that there doesn't have to be a specific thing or reason to be here for, because following Him is all the reason I need. I am so thankful that God led me here again.

So that's why the verse in Psalm 37 is so important to me right now... Trust in the Lord, and do good: Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.

Let that be a verse of hope and purpose as you go about your day:)