Rice in College

I literally cannot believe that I'm here. In my dorm room. In college. In the United States.

WHAT IS THIS?

It's been about three weeks that I've been here at LBC, and for a while I was amazed that I could feel just as alone as I did in Orosi while being surrounded by literally hundreds of people that could be my friends. How does that make sense?

I realized I was sick. Very sick. Homesick for a home different from the one I grew up in. Culturesick. Foodsick. Languagesick. Peoplesick. I've even found myself cockroachsick.

Thankfully our God is a healing God. And an understanding God. Because He has blessed me with a time of worshipping Him and digging more deeply into Him. He is slowly but surely filling the holes from the sickness in my heart, healing me with the best medicine possible- Himself.

I still feel all of those sicknesses. But I am beginning to realize that it is ok to feel those. That this time away from what I grew to love so deeply will only push me to love it more. I don't like to think about having to wait a year before I can return, and I try not to even consider the thought that I may not ever. My stomach drops and my heart hurts to even write those words. But I am learning that where I need to be is not necessarily a physical place, but with God. Because only when my heart is am fully with Him can I be a part of growing His kingdom. And God is everywhere. God is here.

So I was going to make this funny, writing about little ol' Brie, trying to hold onto what she misses by making rice in a bag and eating beans from a can in her little college kitchen. But that's not where I'm at right now. I'm trying to adjust to a new way of life, to hold onto the memories that make me cry, to push deeper into God, and to learn what it means to be His disciple here in Bible college. I'm trying to learn His truth, to see everything through His filter, to know Him more.

I feel kind of weird putting this up on the internet for all to see, because I am not really sure what my point is, or what I'm trying to figure out. And I don't think I have finished sorting all of this out in my head. But this is what I'm thinking right now. It will probably be completely flipped around next time I write, but hey, that's what keeps life interesting.

I just pray that I am thinking through God's truth and not through the worlds covered up lies that are so tempting to believe in. Because His truth is what I want, and what I know He wants for me. And for you.

I just had to share this picture cause it makes me smile. I hope it does for you, too:)